My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize