I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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