My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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