the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
