It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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