Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
