there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I would ride that face into the sunset
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
