You're so nebulous sometimes
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
