about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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