9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
