I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
