they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
