Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
