i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize