Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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