his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
