life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
