Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize