I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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