When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
