Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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