my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
