No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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