Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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