Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
