Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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