my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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