so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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