I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
