the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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