Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
