Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
