Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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