so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize