she looked like the before picture.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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