i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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