I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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