idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
