Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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