i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you never un-have a 4some
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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