drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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