I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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