But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
