The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
