Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Houston, we have a blender
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize