she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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