A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
