His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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