This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
