let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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