Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
