would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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