quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
