It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
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she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
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It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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