then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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