Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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