it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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