mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
