How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
