seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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