i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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