I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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