I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize