Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
