It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
