We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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